WHO AM I

Where does a boy who was born into a world full of pain, hurt and struggle, who was born into the hands of 17 year old teenager who didn’t know anything about a child, but only thing mother wanted from this boy was love…

A boy who takes on the name of a man who isn’t there and spent his life trick into thinking that his father was someone who wasn’t there and was finally told that his biological father is someone who also isn’t there… but this father doesn’t know that his son’s there either in his eyes he doesn't exist.

A boy who grew up in a single mother home with just him and his younger sisters and had to grow up fast watching teaching listening being a father figure for them because though they knew their fathers…they weren’t there, knowing that if someone tried to do anything to these ladies it was left up to this boy to protect and serve… but what does a boy do when he hears the screams of his mother in the bathroom as she’s being wrestle in a tub, and those screams are drown with that water, or watching her walk in public places with shades on where there is no shade needed, but you know that those shades are needed to cover up the abuse that only can be shaded.

A boy that grew up in the neighborhoods where drug dealers were your businessmen, gangs were your families, and school was your baby sitter and the rappers are just public speakers, and the only thing they pumping into our streets is the wrong things making the good things irrelevant. Only thing this boy is expected to end up in life is in jail or someone whose just living with his momma...with a child support notice at the age of 19. A boy who missed a stray bullet that if he was few inches taller that stray bullet would have took his life away. So I ask you what you say to this boy. 

But this boy who was able to find a safe hold that found a way out the sad streets to which he was brought up in. Ducking and dodging all barrels that were being thrown his way. Knowing that there is a life out there to where he doesn’t have to struggle. Cause like Big Boi said can’t gamble feeding your baby on that dope money, might not always be sufficient. A boy who took on the avenues of life by implementing the mistakes and failures from his surroundings, wisdom and the strongholds of a man from his grandfather, and the cool, ambitious style from his uncle. Taking all his pain n frustration to the only thing for a young nigga…football was his trigger to pull, head shot to the world of possibilities, knowledge was his foundation… books was his equation to add up the rewards and to create new ones, subtract all the distractions that’ll create a no one..But to multiply all of it together to reach the one…and only goal and that’s to be not that of a product of his environment.